Stop looking outside yourself for answers

Have you seen what's "out there" lately??

When I left my job as a magazine editor and began freelance writing, I used to joke that I could get rid of my desk and just pull out a shelf in the refrigerator for a writing surface. That’s because every time I got stuck or was having trouble getting into my assignment, I’d get up and look in the refrigerator, as if the solution was in there.

I never found the answer in the fridge, but I gained about 10 pounds the first month.

I learned two things from this experience:

1. Don’t buy snacks except for fruit or low-cal items.

2. If I stayed at the page, free of distraction, the words eventually flowed.

The first was easier to do than the second. But in time I learned to stay in my chair when I got stuck and not wander into the kitchen. Closing my eyes helped. I didn’t realize at the time that I was meditating or going within for guidance. I was simply doing what came naturally.

And it worked—without a time-management program or hiring an efficiency coach. Not to say those things wouldn’t have helped. And perhaps if I couldn’t solve my dilemma on my own, I would have reached out for other solutions.

My point here is that we’ve been conditioned to look outside ourselves for answers before even considering that we already know what to do. From the time we were born, our “learning” came from authority figures. That mindset carried forth as behavior in every aspect of life.

But look where we are in this world. Look what the “authorities” are doing. They’re not the role models I choose.

As an adult, you have choice. You’re not required to go along with what is or what was. You can create your own “what will be.” Radical.

As I begin my Escape the Patriarchy Challenge, I’m putting into action what I started long ago. It’s always been in me. It began emerging years ago, and now I’m bringing my ideas, my longings, and my truth into form.

In May 2021, I published the post below on a blog I started during the pandemic. The text originated in a 10-minute timed writing session from a prompt given in a class I was taking.

I paired the copy with a photo by my late husband, Joe Gemignani. Created long before AI or Photoshop, the image is a result of his knowledge plus talent. It was created with human intelligence, expertise, and imagination. 100% human-made.

The original post was titled the same as the prompt I was given: What are you hungry for?

Boy Looking in Freezer ©Gemignani. This image is 100% human-created with pure talent.

What are you hungry for?

Besides chocolate?

I am hungry for Truth. Truth of my soul, my being. Authenticity. Being able to stand in my power and speak my Truth without thought of how my message is received.

It’s so silly, really, always trying to second guess myself. Wondering if someone will be offended that I think or express differently. Or worse, worrying that I will be attacked or ridiculed.

It’s inevitable that someone, somewhere—probably even many—will disagree, will not understand, will brush me off. But then, so what? Those who do are not my audience. I know there are also many who believe as I do and will/would welcome my message, my insights.

The really funny (or maybe ironic) thing about worrying about the naysayers is that I don’t care because I don’t respect the opinions of those who are so close-minded that they must mock or reject anything that doesn’t concur with their present beliefs.

And what is a belief anyway? A belief is a thought you keep thinking, again and again. Change your thinking, change your life. Cliché, I know.

But—

What if the things you were told or read weren’t true?

What if the ideas society is based on are ideas that limit personal growth, or benefit only those of a certain race, heritage, income bracket, religion, or any group that is based on exclusion?

I have to stop myself from resorting to old beliefs and patterns that no longer serve me or society. We all do. We all harbor prejudice and bias from some archaic or societal teaching that needs to be reviewed and rejected.

This 10-minute timed writing prompt was originally written longhand in a notebook, without stopping for edits or correction. For publication, I've edited slightly for comprehension.

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The purpose of timed writing prompts is not to produce great writing. It’s to excavate deep thoughts that perhaps you didn’t even know were within.

As Joan Didion said, “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking…”

At the time of the original writing, I felt marginalized and somewhat threatened due to my personal beliefs not being in alignment with much of the media-driven public sentiment during the pandemic lockdown.

Now, almost 5 years later, I’m less hesitant to speak—or write—my truth. And I’m ready to embody the words and belief systems I prefer. That’s what the Escape the Patriarchy Challenge is about. And…

This publication is putting it on record.

SMUDGE! with The Energy Sage is committed to:

• Helping identify sources of negative energy causing blocks and disruptions.

• Sharing the tools (it takes more than sage and crystals) to clear the air around you, your home, your relationships, and work space.

• Devising a plan to maintain clear air and good vibes for myself, others, and the planet.

Already a subscriber? Share the Challenge!

Until next time,

☮️ and ♥️, Shelley

Original art by Debbie Boudreau Gabel.