#TellThemToday, Round 3

It's worth repeating

The Farsighted Observer

Couple Hugging ©Gemignani

#TellThemToday

In memoriam
Andrea Gibson
1975-2025

This is the third time I’ve sent a version of this message.

The first time was prompted by the public response to the deaths of Betty White, Meatloaf, and Thich Nhat Hahn within a few weeks of each other early in 2022 .

The second came after the crushing news that Stephen tWitch Boss had taken his own life later that same year.

And now another beloved soul— Colorado poet laureate and spoken-word artist Andrea Gibson—has made their transition to Spirit.

Once again, those who loved them and their work lamented the loss publicly.

And once again, I am struck by the fact that the dear person whose loss inspired the grief can no longer feel that love in embodied form.

Of course, it’s likely that celebrities experience love and admiration from others during their lifetimes and over the course of their careers.

Yet, how often do we sing the praises of our own loved ones? How many non-celebrity folk know how others feel about them?

How many times have you sat at a memorial service and thought, “Wow, I didn’t know that about him/her?”

How many times have you wished you would have asked more questions of your parents or expressed appreciation or love more often to a friend while they were alive?

How many times have you enjoyed a story, song, or painting created by a lesser-known artist and shared it with others? Or told the creator how much you enjoyed it?

---

My awareness of these demonstrations of grief at the deaths of public figures is undoubtedly heightened by my advancing age and losing my beloved Joe in November 2020.

Yet if his illness and death brought any reason to be grateful, it is this: In the weeks prior to his passing, he experienced a wave of love and support from those who knew him.

It was the height of the pandemic, and our communication with most people was via Facebook. From the time we made his illness public to the day he died, friends, family, and the many, many people he worked with over the years posted photos, sent handwritten letters and cards, contributed to a much-needed GoFundMe, and showered him with their love and prayers of support.

I can assure you from firsthand observation of his experience, getting those expressions of love and friendship while you're still breathing is significant. While I’m not yet able to report on how it feels as you watch your memorial service from above, I’m going to venture a guess that receiving the love on the living end trumps the post-life experience.

I wasn’t surprised by the outpouring of affection for Joe. From the time we met, when he introduced me to a friend (and clients, employees, and pretty much anyone he knew quickly became a friend), that person would always share a tale of something nice that Joe had done.

Joe was loved because he shared love with everyone. I was 45 when we met and he was the first man I ever witnessed to hug his friends hello and goodbye and say “I love you,” with the squeeze.

He maintained and updated his phone list consistently so he could keep in touch with everyone—and he did. If he felt too much time had passed without connection, he’d call to say hello.

You might be thinking, “Well, I’m just not that kind of person.” Add me to that list. I’ve gone years without contact with friends from my past. Yet I found I could always pick up where we left off when we reconnected. I think that has a lot to do with how the relationship was conducted when it was active.

I’m affectionate with friends. And I offer respect for their individuality. I compliment and support others. I express my gratitude for their presence in my life. Not always with words. Sometimes, it’s picking up a small gift, sharing something I have, or doing a favor. I’ve found that a hug when someone is hurting is often far more powerful than anything you can say.

Still, I know I could do much more, more often. And there’s something everyone can do, starting today.

Let’s start a new trend: #TellThemToday.

It’s not a new concept. Just one that bears repeating.

If you love someone, #TellThemToday. If you appreciate someone #TellThemToday. If you… well, you get the idea. #DoItToday.

My sincere condolences to anyone grieving a loss. May love and light surround you as you heal.

---

Monthly Message in the Mail

This month’s Monthly Message cards have been mailed! Still receiving feedback on the May and June mailings:

“Thank you for the beautiful card and beautiful message you sent.” —Sandy L.

“Thank you so much for card. Inspiring and so true!” —Sylvie D.

“Thank you for your card. It’s beautiful and so inspirational!” —Anne R.

“I had to write and tell you how much I loved the card and message you sent!” —Em J

I hand write these cards as a legacy to Joe’s artistic talent and to share the energy with which he created his art: pure love. I add my own message with a poem or short prose I’ve written.

Because of the time and cost necessary to complete this mission, these cards are sent to paid subscribers.

This month, in honor of the passing of Andrea Gibson and all creative souls whose work we cherish, I will send a card to any subscriber who shares their address with me before July 31.

If you want to support my mission, you can upgrade to a monthly or annual subscription.

Or make a donation so I can continue the legacy of love:

Until next time… My best, Shelley