What I'm Doing to Feel Safe
It's never too early—or too late—to prepare
Project Intuition 2025
Me, Before
Since 2020, this time of year brings a deep sadness for me. It starts when the natural light begins to shift—long before the designated time change from Daylight Savings to Standard. If you pay attention to Nature (your body does, btw, even if your mind is elsewhere), subtle changes emerge to signal you to prepare much earlier than what the government schedules.
For me, feeling these small changes coincide with my husband’s August 10, 2020 cancer diagnosis and his transition from form back to spirit on November 12, 2020, at the height of Covid isolation and collective grief.
Each year since has been different. The personal grief remains, but it presents differently in my body.
Grief is not quantitative and can’t be measured in units. Over time, you feel it differently. There is a pattern or framework for the experience. But no timeline exists.
And the experience is different for every individual.
Truth be told, I was unprepared for Joe’s death. Not only because my healthy, fit husband was a devoted gym guy, going three to five days a week. Or because he had been given a clean bill of health just two months before the diagnosis of incurable, late-stage liver cancer.
No, my level of unpreparedness delved much deeper. I had previously simply refused to ponder the possibility of life without him. We were so connected, so in love, so much a completer of the other that separation on any plane seemed impossible. Whenever the subject of wills or end-of-life preparation came up, I simply refused to consider the necessity.
“We’re going out together,” I said. “Like Thelma and Louise, if necessary.”
A bit arrogant. A bit childish. A bit foolish. But, that was my story and I was sticking to it.
So much so that when Joe came through to me via a medium after his death, the first thing he said was, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t take you with me.”
Even when the time came that I had to face the reality that it was only a matter of weeks or maybe days left for Joe to live, my reaction was resistance. I told my daughter, “I don’t think I’ll be able to breathe without him.”
And then came the time when I wasn’t sure I wanted to breathe without him.
But I did, and I do. And subsequent “meetings” with my beloved from across the veil revealed I was still here for a reason. I was guided to take a path that would disclose the reason that I was here without him.
The journey has taken me to a place I always sensed existed, but did not have confirmation yet. The past four years have been an extraordinary experience of wonder and vision into possibilities yet unseen by many.
So, this year, I thought I was ready. Ready to go through the season with the newfound strength I’ve embodied through my spiritual healing training, a culmination of almost thirty years of study.
And up until the last week of September, I had every reason to believe I was ready.
In the middle of September’s final week, Asheville and surrounding areas experienced heavy rainfall, with record-breaking levels of accumulation in a short period of time. I thought that was a consequence of the widespread effects of Hurricane Helene descending on Florida.
No, my son in Florida told me, when I spoke to him on Wednesday of that week. The storm hasn’t even made landfall yet.
Hmm, I said looking out my window and watching rainwater flow river-like through the parking lot. I shrugged with dismissal and figured it was a result of outer band storm activity.
But my son was correct. It was another storm system that—because of poor timing—contributed to the devastation that would follow when Helene did hit about a day later. The water-soaked ground’s inability to hold another drop coupled with Helene’s strong hurricane-force winds took lives, homes, vehicles, businesses, livelihoods, and the hopes and dreams of many area residents in its wake.
I did not lose any personal property, but not all loss is physical. Like everyone else here, I was without electricity, water, and cell service for days.
Daytime was fairly tolerable. I live in an apartment community so there were neighbors outside once the weather cleared. I had food and bottled water for a few days. Our community has a pool so I had water to fill the toilet tank. We also have gas grills on the property that made cooking possible.
It took a few days to learn of the extent of the devastation. Things were so bad that no timeline for restoration of services could be made. But prospects only got worse as more information became available. It could be weeks, possibly months, of no services that are essential to life: water, for one.
Not being able to shower and having to lug buckets of water from the pool up a flight of stairs got old very quickly. I couldn’t even distract myself during the daylight hours with work. No electricity, no internet, no cell, and very limited contact with the outside world made doing anything other than finding cell hotspots and getting the food and water I needed daily all but impossible.
But the nights were the worst. Being alone in total blackness with no one to talk to or anything to do. It was scary. I didn’t feel safe or comfy in my own home. I had one flashlight but no extra batteries. Each day, its light grew dimmer.
I was once again faced with my lack of preparedness. I had lived in Florida for over twenty years and through at least a dozen hurricanes. I had no excuse.
True, unlike Florida where you have several weeks warning and constant media advising preparation, we were taken unaware for the most part. Yes, we knew a storm was coming, but the perfect storm conditions arose quickly and without warning.
Yet, I should have known to fill my bathtub. I should have had batteries and more flashlights. I should have had more nonperishable food instead of a fully stocked refrigerator and freezer. Hindsight is 20/20, but I had the experience necessary for foresight and I either ignored or forgot it.
At night, my saving grace was my back-lit Kindle filled with books to read and a candle that afforded some sense of comfort. And at least I could charge my phone, Kindle, and iPad daily in my car.
Finally, my daughter booked an airplane ticket out for me. And I spent seventeen days with her family in New Jersey to heal and reflect.
Interestingly, I had been warned to stock up about a month before the storm. A friend of Joe’s was visiting. He’s a police officer and an ex-Marine… so preparation is high on his agenda. He remarked in conversation that he always has three flashlights on his person. One on his keychain, one on his belt, and one in a pocket. That was in addition to what he had in his car and truck.
I remember thinking that was exactly what Joe would do. Be prepared. Have extra stock of everything. I can’t say I wasn’t warned. In retrospect, I know that it was Joe telling me to get my act together through his buddy, but I let it go right over my head.
Live and Learn
Upon my return home, I ordered storm-ready supplies from Amazon. Batteries and flashlights (set of six so I could have an additional three in my apartment and three in my car). I also now had enough D batteries for the larger flashlight and the lantern I have but couldn’t use during the blackout because it had no batteries.
In addition, I picked up personal care products that would be useful in times when water wasn’t available: dry shampoo, body wipes.
Until just yesterday, we were still under a boil water notice in Asheville. Although most of the area had service restored to the home, the water was not yet safe for drinking or food prep. I had concerns about the safety of using it anywhere in my home if it wasn’t safe to consume.
I have a Berkey (military-grade) water filtration system. But I still boiled the water, let it cool and then poured it into the canister, just to be safe. That was my drinking and cooking water.
I used bottled water for washing my face and brushing teeth. Although I had to shower in the not-safe-to-consume water, I was careful to keep it out of my mouth and eyes.
For the household, I purchased nontoxic disinfectant wipes and spray (similar to Covid days) to keep handy around my home and car. I also stocked up on cleaning products such as baking soda, vinegar, etc.
By the end of October, I once again felt safe in my home.
In the outside world, however, the energy of the nation was verging on stroke levels of hypertension due to the election. Somehow, I felt things would work out. Despite the level of apprehension, there was also a cautious sense of optimism and renewed positive outlook.
I pushed down the sense of disruption I felt in the collective.
Then in the early evening on November 5, Election Day, a strange thing happened. I was still feeling calm and had avoided much of the brouhaha of the day’s energy since I had voted early and could pretend this was just another day.
I was prepping my dinner and for some reason (I can’t remember) I went into my bedroom closet. Perhaps to hang up something from the laundry. I was standing there with no thoughts about election results when out of my mouth came these words:
He’s going to win.
It flipped me out. Not to mention other bodily reactions. I had no idea where that thought and spoken words came from. I spent the next hour or two trying to convince myself that it was just a weird thing.
But then the results began to be reported. And I knew what I had spoken aloud from some deep part of myself that knows truth was my advance warning. Not necessarily about the issue of who won, but about the turmoil that would result in the collective.
And the days to follow proved my premonition true. Expressions of rage, sorrow, grief, fear, and hatred between “sides” poured out like the floods that devastated Asheville. Unstoppable, until it ran its course.
It was impossible not to feel the range of emotions. But this time I was prepared.
Me, After
After the 2016 election, Joe and I cocooned for two full weeks. I prepared hearty soups and vegetarian stews from scratch, which we ate with thick, crusty bread slathered in butter. We slept a lot and rarely left the house. All of this was a complete contradiction to our usual active lifestyle.
I gained five pounds, but that wasn’t the only reason I woke up one morning and said, “I’m not letting this situation steal my joy. We don’t know how much time we have left, and I’m not spending it this way even one minute longer.”
We had three grandchildren on the way, due to arrive within the next six months. We had planned trips and travel around those events.
We resumed our lives, which led to a three-year roadtrip across the country, sparked by the initial visits to welcome our new family members. We just kept going.
Those three years, some of our best of times together, were the last three of Joe’s life.
We defined our world on our own terms and never looked back once.
The results of the 2020 election were announced only days before he died, but it was the one of the last times I would see Joe smile and even crack a joke.
“Our next president is Joe Biden!” I announced.
His face lit up. “Good name,” he said.
The thing I dreaded most about the 2024 election, ironically, was not who would win. It was the divisive energy of the collective and the media onslaught driving it.
It absolutely breaks my heart to witness. And here we are again.
But this time I am prepared.
I can’t say I didn’t initially have moments of getting swept up in the panic and dismay, but I was able to use the tools I’ve learned to ground and center myself with accepting what is. Accept doesn’t mean support.
My acceptance is a pledge to continue the path I’ve chosen and accept responsibility for my actions. I am here to raise the vibration of the planet. Nothing changes that. Nothing and no one.
I started writing this post in earnest on November 15, ten days after the election. I had drafts of it written in my head from the moment I uttered the premonitory words in my closet on Election Day.
I’m glad I waited to begin the act of putting words to paper (and computer screen). In that time, I’ve observed a shift in the collective’s energy.
Yes, there are still some squabbling on social media, even with vehemence. That probably will never go away entirely simply because it’s become the nature of social media…the juice, the high. Doom-scrolling or looking for a fight.
But more so, I’ve noticed posts that read, “I’m taking my kids to the park.” Or, “I’m going for a walk with my partner.” Or, “I’m doubling down on family time.” Or, “I watched a great movie (read a great book) and sat with my cat (dog) on my lap for hours.”
I don’t interpret this shift as resignation. On the contrary, I see it as taking back our power. We decide what is in our best interests and how to live our best lives.
If you want to feel safe, you must create safety within yourself.
Sometimes, that looks like having storm-ready supplies available, just in case. A funny story about that…
A week after my return to Asheville on a Saturday morning, I was watching a webinar presentation about Pluto entering Aquarius, a significant planetary transit that will affect us for the next 20 years. It’s considered a paradigm-changing transit, like the one that presented during the French and American revolutions. (More on that in another post.)
Suddenly my computer froze and the lights blinked off and on. And on and OFF. Was it just me? I opened my front door and the hall lights were out. So, no, it was possibly my building or ….. Nooooo!
Panic ensued for several moments. I had just replaced all the food in my refrigerator. It had taken several shopping trips. Nooo, I just couldn’t lose it all again. What if… What if…
I caught myself. I used one of my new flashlights and went into my dark laundry room and got the large flashlight and the lantern. I installed the new D batteries.
And there was light!
Still no electricity, though. I had yet to shower and now was afraid to do so without knowing if I’d run out of hot water halfway through washing my hair.
I took my lantern into the dark, windowless bathroom and used the dry shampoo and body wipes to cleanse myself. I got dressed and went outside for a walk around my neighborhood, all the while whispering affirmations for the best outcome.
Halfway through my walk, I saw lights inside my neighbors’ apartments and in the walkways. I went home and made myself a second cup of coffee, blessing the electric tea kettle as I set up my pour-over brew.
But not even that matched or came close to the satisfaction I felt for being prepared.
Do the Rite Thing
Emotional safety is a little more difficult to create. You can’t order it on Amazon. You have to create it for yourself. Still, there are tools you can use and they’re all free.
Start with a simple daily practice.
Devote five to ten minutes every morning and evening to silent, alone time and simply quieting your mind. Ten minutes is optimal, but start with five if ten is too much. Don’t overthink it or place any expectations (or worse, self-criticism) around it.
Sit comfortably with (bare) feet on the floor, if possible. If you can only do this when you wake and before sleep, lie on your back and place your arms wherever comfortable, noting where they land.
Take several deep, cleansing breaths. You can even release the breath with a sigh if it feels good or natural.
Focus attention on feeling your body instead of engaging in thought. Without judgement, notice areas of tension, pain, or discomfort.
Begin at the top of your head and consciously focus on your scalp. Slowly shift your attention to your forehead, face, ears, jaw. Loosen tense areas as you go. Don’t exert effort. Think of it as a cleansing rinse of water, like a shower. The water does the work, you simply direct the flow.
Continue down your neck to your shoulders, arms, hands, fingers.
Drop your shoulders and direct your attention to your chest and upper back. Take some breaths.
Concentrate next on your solar plexus. Straighten your spine, elongate the area comfortably…no painful movement. Breathe.
Continue down to your pelvic area, below the navel, and imagine a warm flow of energy encircling your lower body.
Direct your attention to your tailbone and buttocks. Shift position if necessary to be comfortable.
Let the easy flow continue down your thighs, calves, ankles, and imagine any remaining tension releasing out the soles of your feet.
Take another deep breath and send love to the body you are in. Spend as long as you can or need to here.
Congratulations. You are no longer a talking head. You are an embodied human, fully present, and ready for the next activity of the day or night.
Being in control of yourself is the ultimate safety.
N.B., A Daily Practice takes practice. If you’re new to meditation, be patient. How do you know if you’ve achieved stillness? I once read the sensation of deeply connecting to oneself is comparable to being able to feel the blood flowing through your veins. That resonated for me, and perhaps it will for you, too.
I’m Here to Support You
❤️ For the remainder of 2024, I’m setting aside times on Tuesdays and Fridays for 30-minute intuitive healing sessions on a free or love-offering (pay what you can) basis.
❤️ Depending on your needs, the session will include an opportunity for you to be heard while I hold space for you.
❤️ I may be called to pull a Tarot or Oracle card to support you. We may do a guided meditation or energy clearing.
❤️ I promise you will feel more grounded and have more clarity after the session.
❤️ Limited love-offering sessions available. Book your time now.
❤️ If you have the means or wish a longer session, use this calendar.
As a nurse and former Army officer, I was more prepared than you. I didn't evacuate. I have a well, so after 5 days of no electricity, I again had water. Good water. And yet I was impacted strongly by the devastation and knowing people who had missing or confirmed lost family members. People whose homes washed down the river or flooded beyond repair. The devastation is everywhere I go. I have been able to find balance again, but it took me weeks. You helped me a lot.
As for the election, I am not political. I vote but I do not campaign or write political things on my FB page. I delete them if someone does in a comment. I am neutral ground and share your purpose of doing my best to lift the energy of the planet. I started doing my 3 daily gratitudes again. Sometimes I post a picture. Sometimes not. But I have much to feel grateful for in my life, despite the many losses.
Thank you so much for all that you. I am grateful for you.
Much love,
Pam
Love this. As a fellow writer, I too, am trying to capture the right words to inspire us in how to deal with the challenges of change we are looking at. A great read. I will follow your steps for meditation!